Author: brookeshelf

At the Hospital . . .

brookeshelf4 Comments

Yes, today I went to the hospital . . . but NOT to deliver a baby.  Instead, I spent my due date day (and most of yesterday) waddling around radiology departments and orthopedic offices tending to Eleanor’s broken arm.

Yes!  Broken arm!  How’s that for timing?

It isn’t a bad break — what they call a “greenstick fracture,” where the bone bends but doesn’t crack.  Still — ow.

How did it happen?  Eleanor was jumping on the couch Monday night, and just as I spoke the words “stop bouncing, or someone’s going to get hurt,” she flipped backwards off the back of the couch and landed on the floor.  The fracture is at the top of her upper left arm, almost in her shoulder.

She isn’t in a lot of pain; in fact, everyone was doubtful she even had a break (“you sure don’t act like a kid with a broken arm,” said her pediatrician) but X-rays doth reveal all.  So: she’s going to keep her arm in a sling for the next 2-3 weeks.  No dance lessons, and piano’s on hold for the duration (although we are spending time each morning going over note-naming with flash cards).

The challenge is getting her to realize that breaking her arm is a bad thing —  the arm doesn’t hurt much, unless she tries lifting it over her head, and the sling has gotten her a lot of attention in school.  Today I dropped her off at her kindergarten class, and Eleanor got to sit on a chair in front of the whole class and explain what happened.  Afterwards, allllllll the little girls wanted to play with her, since the sling made her “special.”  To which I was inwardly insisting, “No!  Breaking your arm is NOT GOOD!  Don’t relish this!”

After school, all three kids ran back to the boys’ room to put on costumes for fantasy play.  Eleanor came to me wearing a fireman hat, asking if I could help tie her superhero cape around her sling.

Sigh.  This does Not Bode Well.

It’s Finished!

brookeshelf2 Comments

Okay, Baby Katie — here’s your sweater.  Now, where are you?

We spent a few evenings last week taking walks around various indoor locations (the State Capitol building, Trolley Square) in order to get contractions going.  At Trolley Square, the kids ran into Pottery Barn Kids and then immediately began to beg . . . for things for Katie.

Jeffrey spent a good half hour in the baby girl bedding section, giving serious instructions about how we needed the beaded lamp, the rocking chair, and the matching butterfly bedding set.  (Had he forgotten that we already have the nursery pretty much ready?)  “Excuse me, madam,” he asked a sales clerk, and held up a pink bunny blanket.  “Is there a way we can buy this but put Baby Katie’s name on it first?”  Of course, the clerk replied, and then nattered on about online purchasing while I tried not to sigh.

Pottery Barn exists in a parallel sales universe that subsists on a healthy mix of the rich and gullible.  That bunny blanket retailed at $30.  Diaper bags were $168.  It’s cute but insane, right?

Eleanor, meanwhile, fell in love with the canopied little girl beds.  “When Katie turns five like me, we have to get her one of these, Mom.  Please please please?”  Oh, thank goodness I have five years to go.  A tepid “we’ll see” satisfied her completely.

In the meanwhile, I’m getting all kinds of tiny contractions, bizarre advice about how to induce labor (apparently rubbing my heels with my thumbs can do the trick) and the kids are obsessed with watching the documentary Babies.  Little Katie, where the heck are you?  It’s time!

SNOW TRUCK!

brookeshelfLeave a comment

Brian and William spent several hours this Saturday making this:

 

MONSTER SNOW TRUUUUUCK!

Brian’s decided the theme for his snow creations this year is “construction vehicles.”  William got to sit in the cab while Brian put on the finishing touches:

Best of all, Brian even put in headlights on the front: thin layers of snow that we lit with candles at night:

Eh, our camera doesn’t do the best nighttime photos.  But it’s still adorable, no?  The rain and warm weather melted the poor thing almost immediately, but that’s part of the appeal with snow creations, I think.

Favorite Books for Young Readers 2010

brookeshelf1 Comment

By popular demand, the list is back!  Although, it’s a bit simplified this year.  In the past, I’ve included images of every book, annotations for each book, and sometimes even a link to each book’s Amazon.com page.

You know what that is?  About five hours’ worth of work.  And considering that I’m only 2 days away from Baby Katie’s due date, five hours is a commitment I just can’t make right now.

So: here’s the list.  Keep in mind that, as in the past, this is a highly personal list — and also that I’m not a professional book reviewer and do not have access to every single title that came out in 2010.  I also tend to leave off bestsellers (like Suzanne Collins’ Mockingjay) since I know that most of my blog readers have already read them, or at least are familiar with them.  But I consider all of them to be lots of fun, and I’m sure you’ll find something in here to please you, as well.

Oh, and yeah: I forgot your favorite book.  Sorry in advance.

So fire up those library cards!  Happy hunting!

Picture Books (and keep in mind that I am VERY picky about these.  My personal requirement is that the books have to withstand being read out loud for at least five consecutive nights without driving me crazy):

  • Big Red Lollipop by Rukhsana Khan
  • Clever Jack Takes the Cake by Candace Fleming
  • April & Esme: Tooth Fairies by Bob Graham
  • The Quiet Book by Deborah Underwood
  • Cupcake: A Journey to Special by Charise Mericle Harper
  • A Sick Day for Amos McGee by Philip C. Stead — this just won the Caldecott Medal for illustration.  Hooray!
  • My Garden by Kevin Henkes
  • Sneaky Sheep by Chris Monroe
  • A Beach Tail by Karen Lynn Williams
  • Children Make Terrible Pets by Peter Brown

For Beginning Readers

  • Ling & Ting: Not Exactly the Same! by Grace Lin
  • Bink & Gollie by Kate diCamillo and Alison McGhee
  • We are In a Book! by Mo Willems
  • Anna Hibiscus by Atinuke — yeah, good luck finding this one.  It’s awesome, and yet hardly any libraries carry it.  [shakes fist at sky]
  • The Night Fairy by Laura Amy Schlitz

Folklore

  • Pocketful of Posies: A Treasury of Nursery Rhymes by Sally Mavor — the fabric/mixed media illustrations are INCREDIBLE. I’m wagging my finger at the Caldecott Committee for overlooking this one.
  • Joha Makes a Wish: a Middle Eastern Tale by Eric Kimmel

Middle Grade Novels

  • One Crazy Summer by Rita Garcia-Williams
  • Countdown by Deborah Wiles
  • Turtle in Paradise by Jennifer Holm
  • Palace Beautiful by Sarah DeFord Williams– historical fiction set in the Avenues of Salt Lake City!  And in the 1980s, so one of the characters is totally into a The Cure knockoff band!  A great debut from a local author.
  • A Tale Dark & Grimm by Adam Gidwitz — probably my favorite American novel of the year, although it’s not for everybody
  • Cosmic by Frank Cotrell Boyce — my favorite British import of the year; it definitely IS for everybody
  • The Strange Case of Origami Yoda by Tom Angleberger
  • The Clockwork Three by Matthew Kirby — a fabulous fantasy debut from yet another local author!
  • The Birthday Ball by Lois Lowry — wins the prize for being the most Roald Dahl-esque
  • Heart of a Samurai by Margi Preus

And one more: Moon over Manifest by Clare Vanderpool — it just won the Newbery Medal, so even though I haven’t read it (and hadn’t HEARD OF IT until it won the award) I’m recommending you track it down anyway.

Graphic Novels

  • Smile! (middle grade) by Raina Telgemeier (it’s excellent, but I admit a little extra bias in favor of a book set in the late ’80s/early ’90s.  She wears ex-cla-ma-tion perfume and a turquoise scrunchie that matches her turqoise socks!  What’s not to love?)
  • The Unsinkable Walker Bean by Aaron Renier (middle grade)
  • Mercury by Hope Larson (young adult, although I’d give it a PG rating)
  • Calamity Jack by Shannon and Dean Hale (middle grade; gorgeous illustrations by Nathan Hale)

Poetry

  • Dark Emperor and Other Poems of the Night by Joyce Sidman
  • Ubiquitous: Celebrating Nature’s Survivors ALSO by Joyce Sidman.  Wow.
  • Mirror, Mirror: A Book of Reversible Verse by Marilyn Singer

Nonfiction

  • Kakapo Rescueby Sy Montgomery.  Probably one of the best science writers out there, and that goes for adult nonfiction, too.

Young Adult Fiction (caveat: Owing to my high pregnancy-induced hormonal state, I didn’t read as much YA fiction this year as I usually do.  You’ll notice a distinct lack of contemporary and historical fiction here; escapist fantasy and sci-fi was more my cup of tea this year.  Except for Monsters of Men.  It’s part of Patrick Ness’ Chaos Walking trilogy, and makes The Hunger Games look like a kitten wrestling with a rainbow.  I couldn’t even look at the cover without bursting into tears.  Okay, caveat over.)

  • As Easy as Falling off the Face of the Earth by Lynne Rae Perkins
  • The Cardturner by Louis Sachar — probably more appeal for adults than YAs with this one, depends on the kid
  • A Conspiracy of Kings by Megan Whalen Turner — best fantasy writing of the year, hands down
  • Fever Crumb by Philip Reeve — a stand-alone prequel to his excellent Hungry City Chronicles
  • Bruiser by Neal Schusterman (excepting the very last paragraph)
  • Incarceron by Catherine Fisher — so glad to see this author getting some appreciation; I loved her Oracle trilogy
  • Ship Breaker by Paolo Bacigalupi — winner of the Printz Award for outstanding YA fiction!  This made me VERY happy.

One More Quirky Category — Best Vintage Children’s Fiction I Read in 2010

  • Helen Cresswell’s Bagthorpe Saga: Ordinary Jack; Absolute Zero; Bagthorpes Unlimited.  Very funny farcical British fiction; there are jokes set up in Book 1 that don’t come into fruition until the end of Book 3.  Brilliant stuff, although it takes a bit of patience to “get” the British humor.  Absolute Zero was my favorite of the bunch.

Countdown to Katie

brookeshelf10 Comments

The whiteboard on our fridge is keeping track for us.  I’ve been counting down since day 100.  This picture was taken yesterday, so it’s a little out of date.  It’s seven days to baby.  Accuracy is everything.

As Jeffrey puts it, my body is “just putting the finishing touches on Baby Katie so she’ll look like a human being.”  Everybody is predicting she’ll come tomorrow (Jan. 13), since so far everyone in my family has their birthday either on the 26th of the month (me, Jeff, Wimmy) or the 13th (Brian, Eleanor) — a coincidence that is cool but gets confusing whenever I have to fill out a form that requires me to write down everyone’s birthdates.

The nursery is all gussied up and ready.  Mucho props to my sister-in-law, Deb, who helped us pick the paint colors for the wall.  The browns are soothing and delicious, like walking into a giant candy bar.

Best of all, Brian helped the kids spend time creating art for Katie’s room.  He had a bunch of old canvases from old high school art projects that his parents recently handed over to us.  Brian painted three of them a pale yellow, then let the kids do what they wanted.

Brian helped William create this sweet number.  Can you see the foot- and handprints hidden among the flowers?  I love love love it.

Eleanor also went the flowery route, although she included mini portraits of Katie at different ages (“the one with longer hair shows Katie when she’s five years old like me”) and a self-contained landscape in the upper left hand corner.  Because, why not?

And then there’s Jeffey’s painting.  Can you guess what it is?

Time’s up — it’s Yoda.  Brian and I tried to encourage Jeffrey to think about what would match a pink-and-brown baby girl’s room, but he insisted on Yoda.  “Someone has to make sure to teach Baby Katie to go towards the Light Side of the Force instead of the Dark Side,” he told me.  “Yoda will help her do that.”  Later, Brian tried to get Jeffery to compromise.  Maybe Yoda could stand near some flowers?  Jeffrey balked at this.  “There are no FLOWERS on DAGOBAH!”

In the meanwhile, I’m scrambling to finish knitting a little pink baby sweater.  It’s made from the softest yarn, with a little cabled rib all over.  All I have to do at this point is finish sewing the buttonhole band and weave in all the loose ends (ack, a job I dislike.  Weaving in loose ends is tedious).  I feel like the girl in “The Wild Swans,” which was my favorite fairy tale in fourth grade.  In it, the princess’ brothers have been turned to swans.  She can only free them by collecting nettles from graveyards and then using them to knit (or is it weave?) into shirts for each of them — and she can’t say a single word until she’s finished.  During this labor, a handsome prince marries her, and then she’s accused of witchcraft and condemned to burn (since she can’t talk, she can’t defend herself).  On the way to the pyre, the swans come and chase the executioner away.  The princess throws the shirts on her brothers, and they become human again — except that she didn’t have time to finish one of the sleeves for the youngest brother, so he is left with one human arm and one swan’s wing.

I may not be awaiting an execution, but I’m still working under a rather unpredictable deadline (as of this writing, I’m already dilated to 3 1/2 and 75% effaced.  Labor could come at any minute).  Instead of knitting my way to a witchcraft trial, I can easily see myself knitting in a wheelchair on the way to labor & delivery, trying to finish at the very last minute.  Hopefully, it won’t come to that.

The Rest of Christmas

brookeshelf1 Comment

For my family, the week before and after Christmas is always jam-packed and crazy.  No wonder I needed three weeks to go by before I could write about it . . .

  • On the 20th, we went to a party for Jeff & Brian’s Tae Kwon Do class.  Everyone referred to each other as “sir,” which is apparently a Tae Kwon Do thing.  (“Would you like more cheese dip, sir?”)  The most coveted prize in the white elephant gift exchange?  The Chuck Norris t-shirt, hands-down.  (“Chuck Norris slams revolving doors.”  “Chuck Norris can split the atom with his bare hands.”  “Chuck Norris doesn’t scuba dive — he just holds his breath.”)
  • On the 21st, Brian’s family congregated at my house for a gingerbread-a-thon.  This year, they decided to make a castle, complete with stained glass candy windows, Snow White in a glass casket, a Rapunzel with braided licorice hair, a very cool gumdrop dragon, King Claudius poisoning Hamlet’s father, Ophelia drowning in the moat, and an assault by a bunch of Gummi Bears with a battering ram made from a Pirouette cookie.  Other Gummi Bears stood on top of the gatehouse, pouring a pot of molten candy down on the invaders.  I commented that it was a tableaux both whimsical and under siege.  “Oh, just like Christmas, right?” joked my sister-in-law, Kristen.
  • On the 22nd, we celebrated my brother’s birthday with a dinner at my parents’ house.  My kids got to play with their cousins, which was delightful. Their favorite game was to use a string of golden tinsel as “reins,” and then take turns being Santa Claus and reindeer.
  • Dec 23rd: every year Brian’s grandmother, who is 102 years old, “hosts” a Christmas party for her extended family.  This year it took place in La Jolla Groves, a restaurant in Provo that, while fancily decorated, had some of the worst table service I’ve ever seen.  (They brought me a plate of food, then hastily took it back, saying “that’s not for you!”; they brought Brian a half-eaten bowl of soup and a dirty spoon.)  But it was fun to see the family and watch Jeffrey and Eleanor put on their “good manners” — or try to.  Afterwards we went back to Brian’s parents’ house to stay up late playing games (or, in my case, going to town on their Steinway baby grand with a fat stack of Christmas music.  Golly, I love to play on that thing).
  • Dec. 24th.  The aforementioned bell choir performance was followed by a big dinner for my extended family.  (Yeah, I think you can actually hear my bones creak when reading that sentence.)  I love roasting a ham with Bosc pears and then turning the fruit into a compote with cranberries.  I also tried making a triple-chocolate peppermint trifle for dessert, which turned out tasting like silky sweet manna.  After dinner, we exchanged presents and played the “thimble game,” where we each take turns hiding a thimble around the room.
  • Dec. 25th.  Our kids always sleep in, regardless of what day of the year it is, which means I always get to shower and dress myself on Christmas morning (huzzah!).  We always like to have a special sit-down breakfast for the holiday.  This year, the kids requested blueberry pancakes.  After playing around in pajamas for a bit, we headed back down to Provo for more gift exchanging and games.  My mother-in-law had purchased and wrapped several gifts for “baby girl,” but had changed the labels since I had revealed the baby’s name (Katherine Suzanne).  I thought this was rather adorable.  Jeffrey was given a set of Lego Star Wars figures, which he held joyously above his head and shouted “Wow!  This is just what I need to make my day!”  My brother-in-law and his wife also gave him a tricorner hat, which he has worn pretty much constantly ever since.

  • Dec. 26th — yet one more bell choir performance, ho boy
  • Dec. 27th — Brian went back to work, and we spent the day at home doing NOTHING.  NOTHING, do you hear me?  Excepting grocery shopping, laundry, and housecleaning.  This apparently counts as “nothing.”  (Very tired at this point.)
  • Dec. 28th — my family met in Salt Lake for a photo shoot, followed by pizza at my house.  In the middle of all this, Brian’s parents arrive to take Jeff & Ella down to St. George for a family reunion.  (Brian and I stayed at home with William, since I am Great With Child.)
  • Dec. 29 & 30 — we spend time moving William upstairs into Jeff’s room, then cleaning out the old nursery and repainting it to get everything set for Baby Katie’s arrival
  • Dec. 31st — Jeff & Ella return; we go to a friends’ house for a New Year’s Eve party.  Just after midnight, I notice that baby Katie has “dropped,” and I can breathe again.  Hooray!
  • Jan 1st — as per tradition, we host a sledding party for mine and Brian’s families; at the very last minute half of them decide they’d rather not come because “it’s cold outside.”  Lamest thing ever.  But making the extra-thick hot cocoa and pumpkin spice doughnuts made up for it.  A bit.
  • Jan 2nd — I actually got a good night’s sleep for the first time in a month, and so I was actually cheerful at one last whole-family gathering at my parents’ house.  William and cousin Sarah are adorable playmates.  My sister made the owl hats they are wearing in this picture — in fact, she made a hat for all her nieces and nephews, which is something amazing.  (My kids love to put them on and spend a good hour talking in “owl language.”)

  • Jan 3rd — the kids go back to school, and I take a nap.  Naps are golden.

Christmas With Bells On

brookeshelf1 Comment

It isn’t too late to write about the holidays, right?

I spent much of this past Christmas season lifting dumbbells.  Or, rather, these:

English handbells!  Owing to an out-of-the-blue phone call from a family I knew in high school (but hadn’t had contact with for 15 years), I became part of a handbell choir in late October.  The bells are owned by Steve and Renee, who lived in Virginia back when I did, but have since retired and moved to Sandy.  For decades, Steve has hauled out his bells every holiday season and rounds up a bunch of music enthusiasts to practice and play carols here and there.  I was part of his bell choir when I was a teenager and absolutely adored it.  It was thrilling to have the chance to play them again.

Each member of the choir is assigned two bells and its accompanying accidentals.  My job was to mind the bass E and F — two of the heaviest bells, hence the name “dumbbells” — which were assigned to me because I can read bass clef.  The clappers of each bell are held silent by a rubber “spring” (I think you can kind of see it in the picture.)  That way, the bell only makes sound when the ringer flicks his or her wrist hard enough to overcome the spring, allowing for accurate note-playing.  To silence the bells, you hold them against your chest, which means I had two little sore spots just below my breastbone after the first rehearsal.

The bells are made of brass, which can tarnish easily if they are touched often, so everyone wears little white cotton gloves during rehearsals and performances.  It always made me feel like a magician ready to pull a rabbit out of something.

It’s fun to play something so percussive, especially with all the various techniques we use to achieve different sounds out of the bells.  Bells are shaken, hit with mallets, muted with thumbs, swung up and down, waved back and forth, plucked, “marked” — this is when you slam the bell down on a table covered with foam to make a staccato — and “mark-lifted,” where you slam the bell down and then immediately lift it to make a kind of pluck-echo.  My favorite technique that I got to do involved ringing the bell, and then gently brushing it against the table in circles, making a kind of dinnnnng-wing-wing-wing sound.

My favorite performace of the season was on Christmas Eve.  We played for a community sing-in at the “rock church,” an old LDS chapel just west of the state Capitol buliding.  The chapel is old-fashioned and lovely, with a high arched ceiling delicately edged with swirls of gilding and paintings of flowers.  People from the neighborhood (as well as the “bell choir groupies,” as our families were called) came in street clothes to sing carols and hear the bells.  Afterwards, we all got to drink cider.  In the choir, you have to wear all black for performances (thank heavens it’s easy to find maternity shirts in that color) and one of the other choir members handed out little crocheted pins that looked like Christmas wreaths that she had made for us.

My entire family was able to be there, excepting my sister, whose daughters hadn’t been feeling well that day.  My stand partner, Mike, and I had fun pointing out our families’ various teenage hairstyles to each other.  (His son is fifteen and lanky; my brother is fifteen and has a wicked ‘fro.)  Eleanor was excited to sing the two or three carols that she had learned in church this year, and I could hear her little voice singing out loud and clear.

Afterwards, Jeffrey held my hand as I helped carry whatever lightweight choir-related objects I could out to Steve’s truck.  He was both excited and hushed at the same time, in that way that can somehow only be accomplished on Christmas Eve.  It was a wonderful evening.

The Most Photographed Christmas Pageant Ever

brookeshelf1 Comment

My ward has a tradition of putting on a children’s Nativity pageant the Sunday before Christmas.  It’s something that always makes me want to get down on my knees and personally thank the Primary presidency for.  Nothing makes me feel the true Christmas spirit like this little 30-minute presentation. My mother-in-law, my parents, and my brother Alex all drove to see it.  My parents declared afterwards that the pageant is “when Christmas really begins.”

Jeffrey was a shepherd.  He’s always been a shepherd, and will probably be a shepherd until the day he turns 12 and is deemed to big for the program.  He actually sang some of the songs this year, which is a big step for him.  (He knows all the songs; he usually just kinda freezes in front of an audience and does nothing.  But not this time!  Hooray!)

Eleanor was a sheep.  She was asked to come dressed in “animal colors” — black, brown, grey, or white — and was near despair when she couldn’t find white pants in her dresser drawer.  Eventually, we were able to convince her that khaki would be okay.

Two of my Wolf Scouts got to sing a small-group song with a pair of girls, and I pointed them out to my mom.  She said, “Yes, it’s funny how fast you grow attached to them, isn’t it?”  I replied that my scouts were pretty easy to get attached to.

The kids sang sweetly, and there was only one small moment when someone forgot their lines.  I highly suspect that the kid who played the “drummer boy” had his lines taped to the edge of his drum.  And the Angel Gabriel blew a retractable trumpet that looked an awful lot like a vuvuzela.  All in all, a most excellent program.

Afterwards, there were star-shaped sugar cookies, which made William rather happy.

The center of the refreshments table had this sweet little stable made out of gingerbread.  See how they used pepitas for the roof and dried oatmeal for snow?  My mom and I want to try this out next year.  I have a whole box of animal cookie cutters I inherited from Brian’s grandma.  Mmmm, gingerdonkeys and gingerpigs!  Can’t wait.

Proper Little Ladies

brookeshelf2 Comments

This past Saturday Eleanor and I went to Santa’s Tea Party at the Grand America, along with all her female cousins, various aunts, and both grandmas.  (From left to right in the above picture: Abby (age 1 1/2), June (age 2), Eleanor (age 5), and Sarah (age 3 1/2).  It was overwhelmingly girly fun; and the food was EXCELLENT.  Praise be to the inventor of the scone.  Especially the scone that includes clotted cream and lemon curd.  I drank a delightful plum spice herbal tea (eh, they should have just called it “wassail” because that’s what it tasted like) which was also quite the yummy thing.  Each person at the table had her own little mini teapot, which enchanted the girls.

Eleanor and her cousin Sarah sat side by side on this big couch for the party.  You can really see the likeness between them!  Eleanor chose to have mint hot chocolate and Sarah chose plain hot chocolate.  They were very interested in the sugar bowl, and insisted on putting “lumps” in their cocoa with the tongs.  (This, of course, lead to many lumps of sugar being dropped on the floor.)  Sarah insisted on drinking her cocoa with a spoon, which I thought adorably funny.

Despite the excitement of the event, both girls were remarkably well behaved, taking pains to show off their “fancy manners.”

There was still some twirling and bouncing around, but they were well within the parameters of expected three- and five-year-old behavior.  A grand piano was in the center of the room, with a woman playing and endless list of carols; pretty much every little girl in the room (including mine) took the opportunity to go and dance.

During the party, Santa and Mrs. Claus paid us a visit.  This has to be one of the best Santas I’ve ever seen; he was incredibly kind and patient with the kids.  Eleanor, as you can see, was thrilled to talk to him.  Everyone enjoyed the outing and we’re already planning to go again next year!

Twinkle Lights & Vampires

brookeshelf1 Comment

There are days when I have said that I would give anything for a paper printout of whatever is going on in Jeffrey’s mind.  This past Tuesday was definitely one of those moments.

We had decided to go down to Temple Square and see the Christmas lights while the weather was still warm.  In the car the kids excitedly pointed out all the decorations we saw along the way.

ELEANOR: I see a reindeer!

WILLIAM: I see a snowman!

JEFFREY: I see a VAMPIRE!

And Jeffrey continued to see vampires everywhere.

JEFF:  Look!  There’s another vampire, walking along that sidewalk.  Another one by that store!

JEFF:  Aaaah!  A vampire going into a house!

Eventually, our logical daughter could take no more.

ELLA: Jeffrey, I don’t think you can see vampires.  Vampires are not real.

WILLIAM (aka “Eleanor’s Shadow”): Yeah, vampwires are not weal!

JEFF:  Yes they are!

ELLA: No they aren’t!

JEFF: Yes they are!

ELLA: No they aren’t!

JEFFREY (beginning to lose his patience): Okay, FINE!  We’ll take a POLL!  [shouting] ARE VAMPIRES REAL?

ELLA: No.

WILLIAM: No.

BRIAN: No.

ME: No.

JEFFREY: AUAUUUAUUAAAAGH!

ME: But . . . um, sometimes it’s fun to pretend that vampires are real.

JEFFREY (instantly happy again):  Oh, look!  There’s another vampire walking by that Christmas tree!

ELEANOR: [sighs in disgust]

ME: So, Jeffrey, why are you seeing so many vampires, anyway?

JEFFREY: Well, at Christmas time, there are lots of family reunions.  And when there are family reunions, then there are always lots of vampires around.

Well, of course! Because every extended family has at least one vampire, right?

This level of enigmatic Jeffrey-speak may conquer the current champion — the evening Jeffrey was reduced to tears because we wouldn’t let him have two plates at dinnertime, one for his main food and one for the side dish.  If it’s called a side dish, he insisted, then there should be two dishes side-by-side!  (There was no way I was setting a precedent for that.)

Just for the record, he forgot all about vampires by the time we got to Temple Square.  Instead, he wanted to know why none of the various nativity scenes around the square featured a big star.  No poll-taking was involved.