There are days when I have said that I would give anything for a paper printout of whatever is going on in Jeffrey’s mind. This past Tuesday was definitely one of those moments.
We had decided to go down to Temple Square and see the Christmas lights while the weather was still warm. In the car the kids excitedly pointed out all the decorations we saw along the way.
ELEANOR: I see a reindeer!
WILLIAM: I see a snowman!
JEFFREY: I see a VAMPIRE!
And Jeffrey continued to see vampires everywhere.
JEFF: Look! There’s another vampire, walking along that sidewalk. Another one by that store!
JEFF: Aaaah! A vampire going into a house!
Eventually, our logical daughter could take no more.
ELLA: Jeffrey, I don’t think you can see vampires. Vampires are not real.
WILLIAM (aka “Eleanor’s Shadow”): Yeah, vampwires are not weal!
JEFF: Yes they are!
ELLA: No they aren’t!
JEFF: Yes they are!
ELLA: No they aren’t!
JEFFREY (beginning to lose his patience): Okay, FINE! We’ll take a POLL! [shouting] ARE VAMPIRES REAL?
ELLA: No.
WILLIAM: No.
BRIAN: No.
ME: No.
JEFFREY: AUAUUUAUUAAAAGH!
ME: But . . . um, sometimes it’s fun to pretend that vampires are real.
JEFFREY (instantly happy again): Oh, look! There’s another vampire walking by that Christmas tree!
ELEANOR: [sighs in disgust]
ME: So, Jeffrey, why are you seeing so many vampires, anyway?
JEFFREY: Well, at Christmas time, there are lots of family reunions. And when there are family reunions, then there are always lots of vampires around.
Well, of course! Because every extended family has at least one vampire, right?
This level of enigmatic Jeffrey-speak may conquer the current champion — the evening Jeffrey was reduced to tears because we wouldn’t let him have two plates at dinnertime, one for his main food and one for the side dish. If it’s called a side dish, he insisted, then there should be two dishes side-by-side! (There was no way I was setting a precedent for that.)
Just for the record, he forgot all about vampires by the time we got to Temple Square. Instead, he wanted to know why none of the various nativity scenes around the square featured a big star. No poll-taking was involved.
Casa Camisas 
That totally reminded me of Pinky and Brain. There was an episode where we saw the world from Pinky’s point of view and when Brain asked “are you pondering what I’m pondering Pinky?” we actually saw the train of thought that lead to Pinky replying “I think so Brain, but wouldn’t the hippo be itchy in rubber pants on the highwire?”