Today is the day Brian turns 35 years old.
35 is the Ugly Lamp Birthday. What, you didn’t know?
To celebrate, I hosted an Ugly Lamp competition, and friends and family submitted various unsightly entries. Lamps could be “Born Ugly” or “Made Ugly.” Here are the competitors — and I’d like you to vote on your favorite in the comments below! Which is the ugliest? YOU DECIDE.
THE SPIRAL THINGY: made out of a washing machine agitator. Found at DI by Brian’s parents.
THE SPINNING FORTRESS: constructed out of Lego by James, Laura, and their children. The cube not only lights up, but spins!!
THE GOLFER: brought by Justin & AnnaJune. Susan, who used to be a Hallmark store employee, said it reminded her of the kind of thing she used to sell.
THE END OF INNOCENCE: decorated by Chris & Susan, featuring a feather boa, plastic ninjas and army guys, glitter pom poms, and pieces of a “High School Musical” jigsaw puzzle. (They also named it “The End of Innocence.”)
THE APPLEGUTS: A column of “apple guts” — the side product of making apple cider — with an upside-down light-up Harry Potter wand inside. (Shudder.) Made by Brandon and Kellie.
THE SPIDER’S PRISON: Pat & Deb found this at DI. There is a spider trapped inside the glass with those freaky silk flowers!
THE COLONEL SANDERS: Made by my mom and dad. I think it’s appropriately dreamlike.
THE WATSON & CRICK: an ugly lamp tribute to DNA. See the double helix hanging off the side? And the bottom rim is decorated with “actg” stickers. Made by Amy & John’s family.
THE SUBTLE KNIFE: My 16 year old brother Alex made this one. The light bulb behind it flickered.
Those were the highlights (no pun intended). Brian and William made awards together and handed them out (I think the Appleguts won the “Most Likely to be Rejected by DI” award). In the meanwhile, everyone enjoyed a big pile of pizza and spinach salad.
Plus cupcakes for the children!
And now, of course . . . .
~~CAKE COMMENTARY~~
This is the Marbled Velvet Cake from Rose’s Heavenly Cakes. With a ganache glaze on top. It was humble-looking but very tasty.
Happy #35, Brian! (xxxoo)
Casa Camisas 
Hooray! Now Brian can run for President (I know that’s your secret dream, right?). My vote goes to Spider’s Prison (mostly because someone once actually thought that would be a great lamp design – plus the spider death trap aspect is pretty cool). The spiral thingy is a close second. The other entries are mostly so over the top that they have crossed over into officially awesome territory.
I hadn’t thought about the running-for-president thing. It reminded me of the time Jeffrey suggested I run a presidential campaign during William’s nap time.
My vote is for The Spiral Thingy. When I saw it I thought of a plunger. gross + ugly = winner in my book .
The Spiral Thingy is rather spectacular. Especially since it was born that way, not made.
What a fun idea – I vote for the colonel unicorn or horse lamp
The Spider Prision is the best by far. Duh. 🙂 Loved the cake too. The cake should be the winner.
Wait……the spiral washing machine thing was found that way? I assumed they made it! Weird.
[…] Brian’s family has a tradition of putting some odd unusual object on top of the tree. This year, my kids nominated Colonel Sanders. Some of you may remember him from the Ugly Lamp Party: […]