Last night, Brian and I had to go to the Verizon store and pick out a new phone. All three children were dragged along, and it was painful. On the way home, everyone was cranky, including Brian and I, and our tone of voice showed it. After making a few cutting remarks at each other, our children began butting in. This is a transcript of what I remember them saying:
ELEANOR: No no, Daddy! Your voice should be smooth and handsome, like a gentleman!
BRIAN: Thanks, Eleanor. I needed to remember that.
ELEANOR: And Mommy, your voice should be pretty and lovely, like a lady.
[Oy with the gender conditioning, already!]
BROOKE: Okay, Eleanor. Thanks.
ELEANOR: And we should all speak nicely and not fight with each other.
JEFFREY: Well, I think you should speak like a supervisor!
BRIAN: What does a supervisor say?
JEFFREY: HI, MY NAME IS JOE!
[Wimmy babbles incoherently]
JEFFREY: I THINK YOU SHOULD GET TO WORK, JOE!
BROOKE AND BRIAN: [sound of muffled hysterical laughter]